October 23, 2006

thoughts...

hmmmmmm. I've been thinking tonight (mostly brought on by a picture on the facebook of my ex etc.). I love having a blog, but there are things that I cannot write in here. I know roughly who reads my blog, and therefore I know who I would offend/scare/creep out. Obviously I don't want to sensor myself in my blog, but I also don't need to share all of my thoughts. When the guys and I were talking the other night, we decided that we would never want to know exactly what our friends were thinking (think cheesy, Mel Gibson, romantic comedy in the 90's). Using that same concept, I wouldn't want to read my friend's inner thoughts either. Whatever they feel the need to tell me is enough. So it does kinda suck that I can't write anything in this blog. I guess I could start a real journal (I've had many before) or another online journally thing (also had one).

speaking of online journals, the one I used to have was on a site called teen open diary. I believe the whole site is defunk now, but it was interesting at the time. Obviously it is for teens and their huge "problems". I can honestly say that I did not add to the thought provoking world, only to the teen-angst. I started the journal after a recomendation from a friend (guess who, it's really easy). In the end I just wrote random thoughts and poetry (yet another sarah thing). I guess it did help me a lot with writing songs now, but I only wrote when I felt moved in some way. I still do that. Back then it was a slight depression that the girl I liked didn't like me back, and that my best friend was constantly talking about her and her good friend (who was his girlfriend). Now I write very little actually. Accoustic guitar just isn't good for pissed off anthems. Anyway, what ended up happening was that I found my friend's online journal. This is a bad thing. Since I tend to be a nice guy and tell girls the truth realy easily, I told her that I found the journal. From then on she had to sensor it, even if it was subconsciously. I felt bad, especially since the journal wasn't what I thought it was going to be. In the end it would have been better if I had never found it. But you can't change the past, no matter how much you want to.

"I write best, when I am depressed." - Andrew Brand (2003)

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